My clients are leading the way as changemakers.My clients and I are actively raising the bar for what it looks and feels like to be human, especially in the performing arts and entertainment industry. It's possible to love yourself and your life WHILE creating a career that blows your mind.
J. Harrison Ghee
Coaching has helped me reframe and refocus my relationship to literally everything. The groundedness, peace, joy, confidence, the ability to trust myself, to trust my instincts - have been exponential.
I definitely had an underlying reservation of like, Is this gonna serve me? What am I really gonna get out of this? I didn't know how beneficial it would be to me. From that first 30 minute Industry Coaching call, things started to shift. It was an immediate Fuck Yes. I knew that it would expand me and really take me to new depths, new heights, new places by facing myself in the truth in a more accountable way and having this weekly moment to sit in whatever's going on.
It helped that we already had a friendship and a relationship, that I trusted Kelli, to come into it open and available. I was like, Oh, work. I love this human. Let's do this work.
The challenge has been letting the walls down and saying the things out loud that I would probably just say in my head, or replay over and over and try to work through on my own. I’m like, No, bring up the things. Use the Truth Mirror. To really acknowledge whatever came up and face it head on as opposed to being like, Okay, I can sweep that under the rug or put that off.
The groundedness, the peace, the joy, the confidence, the ability to trust myself, to trust my instincts - have been exponential. I hear Kelli in my head throughout the week when situations come up and I'll just be like, Tap into that thing we talked about. Find ways to use the things and then expand on them. And then it leads me somewhere else or I notate throughout the week, Okay, this came up. Let me bring that up in conversation this week.
Coaching has helped me reframe and refocus my relationship to everything - to people, to my health, to myself, to work, to goals, to literally everything. How I approach it, how I experience it, how I am in control of it. How the power that I possess is something special, not taking that lightly, and really owning it. It’s helped me step into these life moments confidently and assured.
Everything is more tangible now. Things feel closer. The way I truly am walking in my EGOT power. Having lunch with my agent, talking about next steps, how we're gonna move in business and in life. It just feels so matter of fact. It’s just like this big Fuck Yes Energy.
This season definitely would've been different without coaching. I felt supported and loved in my life before, and this work has helped me sift through and filter things in a different way. I’ve been remaining true to myself and grounded in my authenticity, because of that power and knowing that I am in control of my experience one way or another. Whatever the circumstance may be, whether it's a great thing or a trying thing, it's like: I am capable. I am powerful. And I have the capacity to face this and to work through it.
It's very much a mantra I live by, of like, How committed are you to the gag? How willing are you to show up to do the work for the thing you want? The thing I am seeking and wanting so much in life right now is freedom and joy and peace. This has facilitated me being able to walk in that more confidently and to have it with this trusting safe space within myself. I can't stress it enough - it's the availability of showing up for yourself. That willingness to be naked, to be truthful, to be vulnerable. To feel all of the feels, to not ignore them, and to really build a trust within yourself that anything's possible.
I think one of the major things that was keeping me from achieving those things before was my concern for others, in a way that got in the way of me and what I was setting out to do. And so it was a matter of filtering these narratives and stories that were no longer serving me and being able to delineate and decipher, Oh, that's your experience. You can keep that. This is the only Being I can control, so I'm gonna use the tools I have to make sure that I'm good over here. Because if you're in control of what you've got going on, the circumstances will always change, and you have the power at the end of the day. No one else is in control.
I continue to celebrate the trusting of, You know what to say. You know how to carry yourself. You know how to meet a moment. You know how to show up, be present, tell the truth, and not be attached to the outcome.
There was so much cleaning up to do in my mind, and once I committed to noticing my thoughts and believing new ones, I've gotten to create everything I've ever wanted - in every aspect of my life.
I didn't believe I was a real coach with a real business. I felt like I was kidding myself, believing that it was going to get better. I had tried other things and it was like nothing worked for me.
Seeing what Kelli created, it was just so obvious to me that there were answers I wasn't seeing and that I could have more. I was like, I have to try this, because I absolutely can't be where I am now in another year.
In this container, I got to choose whatever worked for me. It was like, what feels good? It wasn't about the action, it was about the thoughts and the beliefs.
This was something that I already knew, believed, and coached on, but I wasn't able to see it in myself that I wasn't feeling the way I needed to feel.
Since working with Kelli, I’ve made $11k from signing new clients!
In romantic relationships, I was believing that someone else had to make me happy and if it's not going the way that I think it should, that means we're not compatible and we should break up. I should run or leave, and maybe this isn't worth it. I didn't understand that I could choose to love someone and that I can believe: I'm all in, they're all in, and it’s working.
I went from giving away all of the power in the relationship to chance or the other person, to knowing that I get to show up as the person that I want to show up as. I've created the best fucking relationship in my entire life and learned how to be the best partner I could ever be because of coaching.
I went through a very traumatic experience with my family. I was feeling deep, deep shame, because I had acted out of integrity. I went to therapy for it, but was still believing that I was a bad daughter and sister. I was disconnected from my entire family. I felt very ostracized and isolated. Like there was no redemption. I thought I would never have the support of my family.
And now, I just went home and we enjoyed each other's company for the first time in two years. I didn't have to wait for them to change before I was able to experience them in a different way.
I have much more patience for everyone and I have more space to love on them, no matter what, because I know that their experience isn't mine to change.
I literally was not even excited about performing. I was tired of doing things by myself. Since I didn’t have an agent, I believed that my career wasn't in my control. I also wasn't doing anything that would ever indicate that I enjoyed performing, dancing, singing or anything.
I committed to taking class once a week to ignite my own fulfillment. And then I manifested two beautiful dream contracts - from Instagram. Because I can create my career in my own way.
I didn't have to prove myself. I just committed to having fun, which allowed me to show up in my full confidence and loving on everyone in the room.
There was so much cleaning up to do in my mind, and I absolutely think once I committed to noticing my thoughts and believing new ones, I've gotten to create everything I've ever wanted - in every aspect of my life.
Now I know that being the highest, most successful, most comfortable, confident version of me is not only possible, but it's beneficial to everyone around me.
Before starting, there was a fear of this'll be helpful, but only to a certain extent. I knew there would be challenges to really change and improve, like asking yourself tough questions and challenging pre-existing thoughts and notions, which can be a little scary.
But at the same time, it's been surprisingly easy. The farther I've gotten, the easier it is to see myself differently.
My predominant thoughts used to be: I never hear back about jobs. I never get interviews. People never see my positive qualities and they don't understand my skills.
I was also believing there's something innately wrong in making a lot of money. That it’s a detriment to other people and that there's some kind of limit of wealth and resources in the world. So, if I take too much of that for myself, then I'm hurting other people.
Now I know that being the highest, most successful, most comfortable, confident version of me is not only possible, but it's beneficial to everyone around me.
I've been able to shed thoughts and ideas that don't serve me and instead I've gained the confidence to believe in this leveled up, higher version of myself being real. Then, becoming and embodying that has gotten easier and easier.
Now it's like, Why didn't I always see myself as this?!
Giving myself permission to dream big has been the beginning of everything. It's like, Why not dream up and believe in the most amazing life you can imagine?
This experience has allowed me to see my successes build on top of each other and create this feeling of momentum and growth, which just keeps me motivated to keep doing the work.
Not only did it get me out of a rut as far as thinking about work and about myself, but it changed the whole course of the success that I can envision for myself and for my future.
My clients are insightful, openminded, and committed to growth.
They work with me, because they know they want more.
I don't remember the last time I didn't feel confident about what I was doing. I'm able to navigate being an artist much easier - the life of an artist is easier.
I came to coaching, because I had been in therapy for a while. I found out where a lot of my thoughts were coming from and how my past experiences have shaped the way that I think. Then my question was, Well, what do I do with that knowledge now?
I had the intention of wanting to try a new way of thinking. One of the most surprising things is that I’ve learned how to trust myself, which is not fully what I expected in coaching. On one of our first calls, Kelli pointed out that I just don't trust myself, and I don't think that's something I even realized was happening.
There were so many things that I used to think were SO important. Things that would really, really bother me, that I would dwell on, and worry about. I was stuck in a way of thinking this is how things are done, without even realizing it. And there was a lot of hesitation for me to do things.
Coaching has been worth it, because I just feel better about everything that I do. I have been someone who always struggled with confidence. And now that I think about it, I don't remember the last time I didn't feel confident about what I was doing.
I'm more willing to just go for things. When doubt, insecurity, and worry that I've gone off of the "right track” comes in, I know how to handle it now.
I'm also able to navigate being an artist much easier - the life of an artist is easier for me. I'm proud of being able to say: I don't have to do it like that. I don't have to think of it in that way. I don't have to compare it to this. It's eased a lot of tension.
Before coaching, I never knew my thoughts were something that I could control. I was really being guided by whatever I was thinking. Throughout this process, I've learned a lot about how feelings and thoughts are related.
As a result, my decision making is much more informed. I'm able now to identify how I'm making decisions, what are the thoughts behind them, and then decide - is that actually what I want to be doing?
I can go for things more intentionally because I'm more confident in how I'm going about it. And just knowing that I’m human has also helped a lot!
Even though I was ready for coaching, I had some beliefs beforehand that it wasn't something that would actually make any difference.
Now it has become something that I really look forward to every week! Because in a single call, I’m able to see that there's so many other possibilities.
It's like, I know how I got here with therapy, and now I'm deciding who I want to be, so that I can BE who I want to be.
During our calls, we do the deep work AND we have a lot of freaking fun.
There's room for it all.
I'm most proud of realizing that I actually do know what I want. And now, it's not that I consult less, but I consult myself more.
I knew that to move forward, I needed a little bit of pushing. I had just done like four weeks of therapy talking about the same thing over and over again. And I was like, Nope. This is not going anywhere for me. I appreciate this kind of therapy, but it's not what I need.
I knew I wanted to get up and improve a bunch of different things. And I knew that coaching was probably the best foot forward.
The slow evolution of mindset has made the biggest difference for me. It hasn't felt like jumping in the deep end. It's been enough steps that I've been able to see where I've come from. And now I’m like, Okay, it makes sense that I'm going here.
I think if I jumped in the deep end, I would've been like, Ah, this is not grounded at all! Providing some of the evidence for myself along the way has really solidified changing my mindset over time.
There have been some sessions or concepts, when my mind comes up against something that's either really opposite of what I already believed or is just really hard for me to believe. Watching myself freeze and then having to challenge myself has been the most difficult thing.
Because there’s part of my brain that's like, I don't wanna look at this. We were quite happy not looking at it before.
However, it’s all been worth it, because I've been able to move past stuff. Move on from things that I thought I believed that weren't benefiting me. It’s been putting the steps in the bridge, to bridge the gap between where I was and where I want to be.
In the beginning, a part of me was like, AH! The pressure's on. Because coaching IS an investment and you don't want to go through six months and be like, Nothing's changed!
But, I’ve absolutely changed.
I believe in myself more consistently than I did before.
I already had some firm self-confidence, but it was very much come and go in the moments where I really needed it, like auditions and things. I have a more solid self concept and tools for when I get into my head a little bit.
Having the tools that get me out of what feels like the beginning of a spiral is game-changing for me. Because if I can stop the spiral, I can go, Wait, is this true or not? Then I can look for solutions.
I'm most proud of realizing that I actually do know what I want. In the past, I was waiting for approval, especially from particular people. And now, it's not that I consult less, but I consult myself more.
I know that I am capable of doing the work. Everything I do is evidence that I'm a professional actor and the momentum is still going.
Initially, it was a little scary to be coached. I thought I had to find something meaningful to talk about every week. Once I realized it doesn't always have to be so profound or deep, I felt more comfortable to be open and just be myself. I could talk about anything I want and breakthroughs happened - even from coaching on day to day things.
The thing that helped me the most was being able to break my own rules. I didn't realize how many self implicated rules I was living by. Hearing them out loud and having Kelli ask me, Why do you think you need to do that? - made me slow down to see, I don’t know. Why DO I think I need to do that?
I surprised myself with how specific I could be about evaluating a circumstance. Now I can look back and see, what worked and what didn't work? What thoughts did I have or what thoughts could I have? And being specific about it. I was like, Oh, I am capable. Now I have the tools to coach myself through anything.
Manifestation used to feel like, I hope this happens for me and then I wouldn’t think about it. I was missing the fact that if I have a thought, I’m able to really think about it, and then follow what best supports it. The biggest change has been knowing my thoughts motivate me to do the action, which then creates the result.
Before Coaching Erin and Post Coaching Erin are very different people. I've grown for the better and keep reassuring myself that I’m moving in the right direction. I feel less stuck in the sadness or anxiety part of myself.
I’m not really thinking about auditions anymore after doing them. I used to think: Why didn't I get it? Was I not this enough? Was I not that enough? Was I not whatever?… and for days I'd be so upset!
And now instead of thinking, What was it about ME? I'm just like, Okay. I didn’t hear anything, but I'm proud of myself for getting further than I was even two months ago!
I'm believing more every day that I'm a professional actor, which was my biggest obstacle. I know that I am capable of doing the work. Whether it's a self tape or self submitting for 20 minutes - everything I do is evidence that I'm doing the work of a professional actor.
Even after our coaching container ended, the momentum is still going! I'm getting auditions. I was a final select for a commercial. I've started self submitting without relying on my agent. I've gotten self tape requests. I finally built my voiceover booth. So many things have come together and for me, that's proof that my thoughts are creating results.
Coaching is not always the easiest process. It can be scary to open up to someone that you don't really know, but it’s honestly so valuable. It took me the first two weeks to be like, You know what? I do like this. So I need to commit to myself more, if I want to see the results that I want to create.
Then I jumped in, both feet in the deep end! And it was easy to see all the shifts that started happening.
I’m stepping into myself in a way that I’ve never done before - as the most stretched, open, and free. I got what I came for, I feel powerful, and I’m really enjoying every aspect of my life!
When I started, I felt like I was actually in a great place in my career, which is exactly why I wanted a coach. I had a lot of support already with my agents, friends, and family, but I really wanted a designated person to get into career stuff with - to download my fears and unpack my big dreams. I was excited to have a brand new cheerleader on my team.
I've been in therapy for probably four or five years, and I enjoy that relationship. I like being asked to consider or reconsider my beliefs, so I was open to Kelli’s thoughts and very welcome to the coaching.
I was really surprised by the amount that I was able to expand on in our time together. I came to Kelli wanting to focus mainly on my career and our work impacted so many other aspects of my life. The same tools that we worked on for my career helped shift my relationship with money, time, and scarcity mentality.
It made space for me to prioritize my family, make decisions from abundance, and also create new financial opportunities for myself using other passions outside of performing.
A concept that changed everything was the fact that I can really have access to anything that I want and desire. That felt really big. It was a little bit of a hurdle for me to accept, because I like tangible results. I'm the daughter of scientists, so I like to see things. And I’m a Capricorn.
The idea of believing without evidence felt kind of crazy for me, but once I embraced it, a lot of really wonderful things just fell into place. So I think that was the biggest game changer.
Even if my desired “results” aren’t here in the designated time that I want them to be, I trust that really great things are happening. They are coming. I don't have to control and try to squeeze everything together, or make career decisions based on fear or scarcity.
I just feel way more relaxed, frankly, in my work and in my career. Previously I had a lot of worries about if I chose the right project or that I was doing the right thing, like, should I not have said no to that workshop? I was overthinking a zillion things when it came to my career, and now I feel way more relaxed and playful.
It’s like, Oh, that audition didn't pan out… all good. Onto the next. Oh, this project had an unexpected complication… all good. Let's just see what happens. I can have steadfast goals and leave room for other things that I never even planned for. I feel like I ride the ride with more of a relaxed state and openness to see what happens.
I enjoy what I’ve got going on and I also enjoy what other people have got going on with so much love, celebration, and zero jealousy.
I’m stepping into myself in a way that I’ve never done before to experience myself as the most stretched, open, and free. I got what I came for, I feel powerful, and I’m really enjoying every aspect of my life!
My entire life is different and at the core of it, it’s knowing that I am the one who gets to decide. Less trying to make do with what I'm given and instead just choosing what I want.
I had listened to enough podcasts where I was like, I think at some point I want to work with a coach. I didn't even know what I was looking for. I just knew I had curiosity.
In the space of the consultation, I felt possibility for the first time. It was the first time anyone had ever asked me to look at things holistically and then say, Okay, well if it was going to look different, if it was going to feel different, what would that even look like?
I was like, Oh, this feels very different. It feels like a place of empowerment instead of reactivity.
My self concept used to be I am someone who is working really hard to figure out business, who used to be an actor and is wondering if she ever will be again.
Now, I feel like I am an extremely capable six-figure earning business owner, who is excited to be on her acting adventure and seeing how this all works into her life.
Being coached has been extremely freeing. It's also been incredibly challenging sometimes, too. In Truth Mirror ways, when I've needed it the most. It was being willing to be confronted when I was getting in my own way, in a very trusting way, from the place of, I know this is for me.
My entire life is different and at the core of it, it’s knowing that I am the driver. I am the creative director of my life. I am the one who gets to decide. Instead of what is this Universe bringing me? What is this person bringing me in this relationship? Less trying to make do with what I'm given and instead just choosing what I want.
I’m really proud of the fact that when Kelli offered that I could have a new agent by the end of the year - before 2022 - I said, Okay. What if I believe that's possible? And then I showed myself, it was. I fully believed it was true and then it happened before the end of the year!
My business and my relationship with my husband and my family feel radically different. I don't operate from a place of fear, like at all. I used to lead a lot out of scarcity or the idea of, I have to figure this out in order to be successful. There's so much more self trust in my business and working less has made me more money.
When Kelli and I first started working together, the most I'd ever earned was $35k in a year and I'll be at $110k this year. I just didn't even think that was possible.
The thing I am the most proud of though was healing my relationship with my parents. That wasn't something that I even thought was possible through this work. I wouldn't have named that on our first consult as something that I wanted, because I just didn't even know it could have been true or different without them radically changing.
I'm so proud that my perception of my family and then my family legacy gets to change.
Overall, I have less fear around trying things. I’m mindful of what brings me pleasure and I cultivate more of it - without thinking it’s something indulgent that, I could only treat myself to when I deserve it.
I came to coaching, because I knew I wanted to be more intentional with my business. For a very long time I was just kind of hobbling along, not necessarily badly, but I was taking everything that came through the door. I knew what I wanted to do “when I grew up” - so how do I manifest the kind of work that I'm looking for? I knew that committing to a person and a time regularly would help me with that, without really thinking about what the benefits would be or what else could come out of it.
Spending the money felt like a really big commitment that I didn't know if I deserved. Like you go into a store and you buy a book, you have something to hold in your hand that you paid for. I think it's harder when it's a service or a concept of something that you don't necessarily have something tangible as a takeaway. So I had some hesitation around putting that money upfront.
The idea of being a legitimate designer was something we talked about a lot. The fact that I was mostly self-taught, hadn't won any awards, always worked freelance, never in an agency - I didn't fit the mold that I thought I was supposed to. I really had a hang up around it and kind of choked on the words graphic designer when I used to introduce myself. Knowing that I’m legitimate was definitely the big transformation during our time together, for sure.
I also struggled with the idea of putting on multiple identities, as I also want to pursue side careers in prop styling and interior design. And even though those aren't a big part of my life yet, I never hesitate to cultivate opportunities and make the right connections. Now I consider myself a creative person and a designer in multiple ways. I had to work on it, but now I fully embrace that idea.
The biggest challenge with coaching was my own mind as our call was approaching: Okay, we're gonna get into it. I don't know if I feel like it! It wasn't even necessarily that I was fearful. It was just like, Ugh, do I wanna spend that time doing that? I always felt like I should work on the business in a more concrete, tangible way. Like, if I do physical things, like posting on social media or fixing my website, it will lead to more work versus working on myself and my mindset around the work.
But then of course, every time we met, there were huge benefits and great ways to reframe things. Because of course, those things still come up in life after the coaching - interactions with clients or my parents or whatever. And I can think in my head like, what did Kelli and I talk about? How did we discuss this? So now I have these tools and ways of looking at things differently that I didn't have before.
I tell this story often to share my experience with coaching:
I usually make three concepts for my clients. There's always one that I really love and I hope they're gonna choose, but it's usually the riskier idea and in the end they almost always go for the safe one. I was already kind of going into this project with that expectation. I remember the way the conversation evolved and the questions Kelli asked, Why am I gonna be disappointed if they pick the safe one? Isn't making the client happy part of the goal? She wasn't leading me anywhere, but in the end, it came down to the whole legitimacy piece and the fact that I was still on some level trying to please my parents! This sounds crazy saying it out loud, but that’s how we ended up there.
That's been really transformational. Just thinking, you know, sometimes, yeah, I'm gonna have a secret favorite one, but if the client doesn't pick it, that's okay. I can let that go. I'm comfortable in this space where ultimately I'm doing the work I'm supposed to be doing and the client's happy with it. And so that's the goal and that is good enough. Like it IS actually enough.
I just thought it was so interesting that we went from this weird, one-off problem and then ended up in this place where it just uncovered so many other parts of my life that I realized were there, but didn't know it!
I'm really happy that we figured out my legitimacy as a designer and the fact that we uncovered my dream project: to produce a cookbook! I know with certainty that this came out of our conversations and I know it's something I'm going to do in this lifetime. Overall, I have less fear around just trying things and letting them land where they are, because why not try that new thing? I’m more mindful of what brings me pleasure and I make sure to cultivate more of it - without thinking it’s something indulgent that, you know, I could only treat myself to when I deserve it.
I was able to leave my teaching job last year and go full time with coaching! And also - my marriage is better, my relationship with my kids is better. I am more confident about everything that I do.
When I met Kelli, I had already talked with one person, but I was kind of shopping around for business coaches. I was hesitant, because I just finished a different coaching experience where I jumped in and it just wasn't for me. As soon as we talked on the phone I thought, yeah, I want to work with her. It was very much, this feels really scary and big and exactly what I need to do. Which was the first difference that I noticed. Versus, this feels scary and big and I'm just not feeling good, but I'm going to do it because I have to do something.
I was trying to build my coaching business thinking, I don't even know how to find my own coach. What if I can't do this? I really thought I just needed someone to drive my bus for me. I was thinking I don't know what I'm doing. I just need people to tell me what to do. I had no idea how I was ever going to make this work and I wanted it to work so badly. I thought, I need a parent. I need someone who's going to say, now do this. I had this lingering thought of, ‘not everybody gets to that place. This doesn't mean you're gonna be the exception to the rule.’
Through coaching, I learned so much about myself and I learned to trust myself in this way that I never have in my whole life. I always had this thing where I would default to somebody else to tell me what to do. I still struggle with the idea of doing it right or doing it wrong. And I feel like that's something that I really learned to let go of with Kelli. I catch myself thinking now, what if there is no right or wrong way? That was a huge thing for me.
Another thing that I take to my coaching clients now is that, I never realized saying, I don't know was my default answer. I was really like, no, I just don't know. No one ever told me. That was just my answer on so many things. I didn't realize that I didn't really have to have the direct answer, that I could get my own answer. I don't think that ever occurred to me in my whole life.
It's easy to say, I don't know, because the answer wouldn't just come out. It's like the answer was there, but I couldn't just say, that's the answer. Now I’m willing to sit there and I understand, no, there's a feeling and I think it's this. Sometimes, it’s like, well that could be the answer and I can try it, as opposed to having it have to be the right answer. I learned to try the answer first, and if it wasn't what I thought, then I would just find something else.
I am still surprised every single day at how much better things are with my husband and me. They seem so unrelated. In my head I thought, there's absolutely no reason that these two things should have gone together. Me working on a business and working on that part of my life, having it roll over into how much better things are with him is unreal. Seriously, upside down.
If you’re considering coaching, go in having an idea of what you want to be coached on, but just be ready - because it's gonna be like, yes that, but then all the other things too that you don't even know are going to play into. I hired Kelli to be a business coach, and it was amazing and so perfect. I was able to leave my teaching job last year and go full time with coaching! And also - my marriage is better, my relationship with my kids is better. I am more confident about everything that I do.
Go in with a plan, but just be prepared for everything else to fall in line too, because it's not going to be just that one thing you think it’s going to be. Everything else is headed straight up with it.
I can enter any conversation, any situation with ease, because all I am there to do is be curious. I'm enough just how I am in front of you. I can advocate for what I need. And, what I desire is just as important as what I need.
I reached out for coaching, because I knew that I needed help getting my brain, my focus, and my confidence together. It felt like a make or break moment. Like I would fail without this, so it was kind of scary.
I wanted to quit my job and become a full time health coach, to make money, prosper, and have all the things I want in life. I had a hard time seeing the possibility of that, because I didn't know what I didn't know. I didn't know the energy that I was putting out there was causing all this madness in my mind. I knew I wanted it, but I just could not figure out the pathway to get there.
The thing that helped the most was getting my thoughts together and aligned with what I want to do. When I understood the concept that I'm sitting on a bench and I'm watching all this stuff go by - my anxiety, all the things I wanted, and all the things I didn't want - I realized I could choose what "bus" I was going to get on. That was a real breakthrough moment. I had the propensity of getting on the bus that was taking me the wrong direction and now, I choose to get on the bus that’s heading exactly where I wanted to go.
Coaching immediately felt like this sweet relief, like taking a whole, deep breath. No matter what I say or what I do, I know Kelli is in my corner. She's going to help me get to where I want to go. Then in the middle, it got uncomfortable, real tedious. Like walking through this big field and having to find that one thing.
It started to click when I was actually confident enough to do the things that we've been talking about. I would apply the coaching in my day to day routine and see what a big difference just that little portion could make. It made me feel like I could take a bigger bite. And then, it just kind of felt like the sun came out. Everything got a little brighter and lighter.
I was surprised that coaching was uncomfortable. I did not expect it to be uncomfortable! But man, that's where the magic is. We can all say, don’t stay in your comfort zone. Lean into the uncomfortable, so that we can see the brighter side on the other side of it. I guess I've done that before, but I just had never really practiced that so intentionally in my life.
In the beginning, sometimes I told Kelli what I thought she wanted me to say. I worried that if I said something wrong or incorrect, then I would blow the whole thing and she wouldn't know what to do with me. There was this whole fear of being unhelp-able and that there's no way that this is going to work for me.
Kelli slowly, gently called it out. When I knew she knew, it started to shift. We can have a mask on and walk around anonymously, and then when somebody lovingly helps you kind of take that mask off, I could just say anything. It allowed me to trust myself and release any fear of shame.
Experiencing this in the coaching container also impacted my relationships with others. Because I realized I didn't have to know everything. I can enter any conversation, any situation with ease, because all I am there to do is be curious and hear what they're telling me. I'm enough just how I appear in front of you. I don't have to have the attitude of a sacrificial lamb. I can advocate for what I need. And, what I desire is just as important as what I need.
When I started out, I would almost choke when I had to tell clients how much I charged. My mouth would go dry and it was hard to say that my services cost $100/month. Through coaching, I finally understood that I can charge whatever I want and what works for me, because I have value to offer. Telling somebody my rate was $1800 and having it feel lighter than asking for $100 was a really big moment that I'm proud of. Now I’ve been able to raise my prices and ask for what I used to think was “the most money on the planet.”
The investment has been worth it to have this for a lifetime. It's not like I bought something and used it up, or only have the thing for a little while after I purchased it. This is something that is in me - and once you see it, you can't unsee it. Once you lean in, you've gone through it, you've done the thing - you have it. There's no way to get rid of it.